Got a Dyslexic Heart : Life, Love and Lament

After having gone through what I did from late summer through late fall last year, I have been wanting to touch on the subject of one's own responsibility (and accountability) for one's own mental health, because there are people out there who believe it is the responsibility of OTHERS to enable, coddle and just "accept" their bad behavior, mistreatment, dangerous mood-swings and other abusive or self-destructive behavior, and even the mere suggestion of therapy or actually DOING something about the issues will get you in the proverbial doghouse. This article (which I've decided to post in lieu of an original blog this week because it says so much of what I wanted to say myself) says a lot of what I have thought over the years, and I WISH I would've had it handy about 20 days after it was actually posted, because it would've been helpful when dealing with someone who felt it was "insensitive" or "unfair" to hold her at least partially a...

(RE-blogged from the British Psychological Society) Sex is an  important part  of most  romantic relationships  – and when couples are not on the same page about their sex life, it can become a source of frustration. Research has found that couples have sex about 1 or 2 times a week, but about half of sexual advances between partners go unfulfilled.   A preprint  uploaded recently to PsyArXiv  sheds some light on how responses to sexual advances influence individuals’ feelings of sexual and relationship satisfaction. The study suggests that while having an advance accepted leaves partners feeling more content, this effect may be short-lived compared to the dissatisfaction of being rejected. To get a peek into the bedrooms of 115 heterosexual couples (participants were aged between 19 and 64), Kiersten Dobson from the University of Western Ontario and colleagues asked them all to keep sex diaries. Every day for 3 weeks, both partners indepe...

We try to compromise a lot to make relationships work. We have to. Because no two people are alike. No two people have exactly the same interests, habits, hobbies, viewpoints, anything. We may have certain levels of compatibility, but you'll never meet somebody exactly the same. If you do, be suspicious that you're either being stalked or that the person is not being 100% honest with you. I'm not saying it's impossible to meet that fellow science fiction geek or sports fanatic or musician, but odds are, he or she will have something else where you guys don't necessarily meet at the same point. It could be something relatively trivial, like one of you likes the spring more while the other is more of a fan of winter. Maybe one of you like pineapple on pizza and the other one says that is absolute blasphemy. Those aren't necessarily deal-breakers. But there are some things that definitely can be a deal-breaker. Looking back in hindsight, I knew some of ...

Sorry this one is a few days late. Have had a lot going on and just now getting some breathing room. I have spent a great deal of time on exorcising my most recent relationship collapse and using this blog as a catharsis of sorts to help overcome all of the trauma and drama from it, and I've also tried to touch on some lighter/more positive things to help balance it out a little bit. I'm going to do that again here, because relationships AREN'T "all bad". And there IS hope for something more than just heartache, abuse and stress. I promise. I'm seeing it myself now, and I feel like a completely different human being than I did 6 months ago. Again, I WAS very much in love, and at the time would've given anything for the opportunity and means to genuinely smooth things out, conquer personal demons (hers AND mine) and have that relationship to end all relationships. But it was not to be. So what about things...now? Now a couple good solid months ...