Got a Dyslexic Heart : Life, Love and Lament

This meme got posted in a group I'm a member of, and you know, there is some truth to this, looking back on most of the relationships I have witnessed crash and burn over the years (or my own). I think one thing that needs to be addressed regularly and somehow dealt with in society is that we still live in a world of double standards and mixed messages. I know superficially the message in the meme sounds like some sort of sexist generalization, but I really want anybody who has a " strong opinion " about this picture to really think long and hard and tally up in their heads of all the relationships they have seen "threatened" or had any kind of knowledge of, who was the "unhappy" one (and drill it down even to "why"). Of all the times a friend or family member was dealing with a "potential break-up", who was usually the "unhappy one" initiating the possible split? Just in my Facebook friends list alone, most of the r...

***WARNING # 1: This post will contain slightly abrasive language and subject matter. The Dyslexic Heart blog has remained PG-13 or better, but this entry will push the verbiage a little stronger in places, and while not as harsh as some of my other blog pages, I needed to warn any tender ears/eyes. You have been warned.*** ***WARNING # 2: Failure to read the points of this post in FULL CONTEXT is not an excuse for negative feedback. This post is very clear that it is not discriminatory based on gender/sex, and is a condemnation of crappy behavior regardless of your identity. So you aren't being "attacked", unless you engage in the activities and lifestyle in question, and in that case, if it "bothers" you, perhaps you should rethink your choices instead of whinging about someone calling you out. You have, again, been warned.*** As with so many things of "political correctness" these days, one of the things that I've found myself at the re...

When people learn I’m a couples counselor, I’m often asked for any juicy tidbits or words of wisdom I might have to support them in their relationship. Juicy and wise, they may or may not be but there are a few things I’ve learned for sure about relationships in my work as a couples counselor that I’m always happy to share with folks. Today, I want to share these seven key relationship insights with you in the hopes that they may feel helpful and supportive to you and your relationships. 1) Relationships are often hard work. Disney, Rom-coms, TV and hyper-edited social media have led many of us to believe something along the lines of “when you’re with The One it’s easy.” And I completely disagree. Long-term, committed, romantic relationship is often hard. And that’s perfectly normal and natural. After all, you get two people together with all their triggers, wounds, quirks, preferences and neuroses and then you expect them to manage a house and build a life together through si...

As mentioned in another blog, before the failed relationship I entered into which ended just a couple months ago, I'd previously gone out a few times with and had gotten to know a gal from California who I'd felt a good connection with but couldn't escape from this feeling that something was blocking her from expressing affection or intimacy, and I had gotten some "mixed signals" that led to a petering-out of the potential relationship within a couple months, and that was, largely, it. Done. I always felt in the back of my mind that maybe I should've just been more blunt and assertive, and should've really tried to get to the bottom of things, because admittedly I was still very much out of practice "reading" signals. After all, I had been with the same woman for 22 years of my life, and the last decade of that there were only three signals: 1. She's already asleep, so she must be pissed at me. 2. She's too happy, so she must be drunk....

An interesting article which I encourage any man who has found himself at the receiving-end of physical or emotional abuse to read... Men who experience domestic violence and abuse often don’t seek help until the problem becomes a crisis, researchers say. Men tend to worry they would not be believed, or that they would be perceived as less masculine if they reported abuse, their analysis found. Alyson Huntley and colleagues at the University of Bristol reviewed 12 previous studies of male victims of domestic abuse or violence. The studies, conducted between 2006 and 2017, used data gathered mostly from interviews. In a report in the journal BMJ Open, Huntley’s team outlined universal themes that describe why these men don’t readily seek help. Fear of disclosure was a central theme. “The issue of masculinity is a societal one - men are not expected to be the weak ones. It is a hard stereotype to work against,” Huntley told Reuters Health via email. Along with fearing t...