Social Distancing and Isolation : Keeping Relations Strong in Quarantine

Here we are still under "house arrest" thanks to the COVID-19 virus, and still no end in sight to the madness, thanks to incompetent leadership, misinformed panic buying and obstinate mental midgets who feel this is still a joke not to be taken seriously. Between the people who are defiantly exposing themselves and others to the possibility of catching this disease and the useless, deranged pieces of garbage opportunistically gouging others for necessities, it's enough to trigger all the worst emotions: fear, depression, anger and hatred. This is not how 21st Century America is supposed to be. But here we are.

Throughout this event our gregarious society has been relegated to this concept of social distancing at least, and at "best", self-isolation. If everyone would just do as suggested and would stop trying to push the boundaries of sanity or common sense, maybe we could get through this thing with few casualties and things will start getting back to normal again. Till then, those of us fortunate enough to have jobs which allow remote work or telecommuting are working without pants (the silver lining), and our kids are having to adjust from learning "digitally" from home. Big difference from "life this time last year", as I've mentioned previously.

Maintaining relationships might prove a little bumpy during these times, Particularly for those of us who don't cohabitate with our significant other, you either find yourself not seeing the other person much due to self-isolation, or you're likely to both be stressed if one or the other isn't lucky enough to work from home and is exposed to the risk of transmission of the virus. Whether it's voluntary or out of your control, it's not going to be easy, and you probably need to start preparing some kind of contingency or protocol for when the inevitable stress-fight happens. I guess the severity, and the way you need to approach a solution, depends on the circumstances:

1. Minimal contact is going to be hard. Make the most of that time together. Between visits, keep up the contact. Don't let communication suffer. There's no excuse. Talk a lot. Talk about the trivial stuff, and talk about some important stuff. But keep talking. Some folks shut down emotionally in times like this, and that already-destructive behavior can destroy a relationship even faster when your quality-time is minimal or nil. And when you DO get that quality-time, make it COUNT! That can mean a deep discussion about life, or making dinner together, watching TV or having a mind-blowing night of intimacy. But make the most of it.

2. No contact could be a relationship killer, or the ultimate test of your bond. It's true that we do need a certain amount of physical contact at some point, and anyone who denies that has issues the level of which you don't want to even begin to decipher. But can a relationship survive potentially weeks of no face-to-face time? That's subjective. A tough call there. One could say that a true connection and "true love" (or even just a "sincere attempt at a relationship") could easily weather the time apart, but who's to say? I mean, with the stress and anxiety on high in situations like this, you're both already stretched emotionally, and this will only add to it. But remember most of all that this is NOT a voluntary circumstance. Neither you nor your partner wanted to create a global health pandemic, and it's neither of your fault. So don't get frustrated with each other, or hold each other responsible, and most of all, DO NOT let yourself feel any resentment towards the significant other. IT'S NOT YOUR OR THEIR FAULT. Got it? Good. So do what you must to keep yourself as much at ease as possible, and to do YOUR part. Hold YOURSELF accountable. Consider it just an extended version of "option 1", and kick that communication into overdrive. You really NEED to look at it the same as you would with minimal contact, but just with a longer window of time "away". You WILL get to make up for lost time, it just might be a while. And that's okay. You can "be there" even when you're not "there, there".

You've got this. You don't have a choice. Unless the divine powers of the universe choose otherwise, life will go on, and this too will pass. Life will return to some kind of normalcy, all you have to do is make it a short little while in isolation or with less contact. Don't let it break you. We (people) are bigger than this. We just have to act like it. Stay safe out there, and stay strong.